In Through the Nose Out Through the Mouth

Ever hear of the Impostor Phenomenon? That's the feeling that someone is going to find out that you don't really know anything. This morning, (well actually most of the night too) I am plagued by this feeling that I don't know how, and can't really do it and someone is going to catch me. It's ridiculous for me to feel this way. I have the experience, the track record, the knowledge and the brains to know when I don't know how to do something. I am not afraid of asking questions or looking stupid. So why am I so worried?

Because like every other female entrepreneur out there, I am a perfectionist and I will probably never be satisfied with what I know. So I am going to coach myself a little and I am going to breathe deeply, and I am going to tell myself that I am not the only person who has ever felt this way. Most people do at some point in their lives. 

If you ever feel this way here is my best advice:

Tell yourself that it happens to all of us, most people just don't admit to it. 

Be objective about your skills and come up with a list of reasons why you are the right person for the job. 

Don't ever let doubt get in the way of your dreams. If you do, you will never get anywhere. 

My Starting Over Story

I have a long history of starting over but this restart that started six years ago is the best new start of of my life. 

I got married at 22. I got pregnant on my honeymoon. I gave birth nine months and six days after my wedding. I got pregnant again when my oldest was nine months old. Got pregnant again when my second daughter was fifteen months old and had my fourth baby three years later. I was married for twelve unhappy years, trying to be the best wife and mother that I could be, always hoping that something or someone would save me from the life that was killing me. 

I had this image of myself as a damsel in distress that was going to be swept away by a handsome saviour. It didn't quite compute that my knight in shining armour didn't have room for four kids on his horse. 

My moment of salvation came when I realized the most important thing that I have ever learned- You have to save yourself.  Saving yourself is a novel concept but it is life altering. When I realized that I could save myself was when the world opened up to me with a series of coincidences that are too strange to be accidental. I found my way out of my bad relationship and into a life that makes me excited to wake up every day.

In a nutshell, I went back to school, got divorced, met a great guy, got into graduate school and learned how to turn my passion for helping people into my career.  I went from a woman who was lost to a woman who knows how to do it right by doing it right away. Now I am a coach, a consultant, a writer and a speaker and I get to earn a living by helping other people start over.